Befriending Your Anxiety: Why Fighting It Drains Your Energy (And What to Do Instead)
Anxiety is a debilitating emotion. Naturally, our first instinct is to fight it, push it away, or defy it. But the challenge with fighting is simple: the harder you battle anxiety, the more strength it seems to gain, while you burn through your energy.
Anxiety is a debilitating emotion
Whether you are navigating a bustling daily schedule, major life transitions, or simply the quiet pressures of everyday life, this endless wrestling match is the last thing your mind and body need. What if, instead of viewing anxiety as an enemy to defeat, you started looking at it as a part of you?
Regaining your energy might just start with putting down the armour.
1. Shift Toward Acceptance
When you stop fighting your anxiety, you stop feeding it the fuel it needs to grow. Acknowledging that you feeling anxious and that this is simply a part of you right now frees up vital physical and mental energy. You don't have to love being anxious; you just have to stop treating your own mind like a warzone.
2. Uncover the Positive Intention
Every emotion exists to serve us in some way. So, how is your anxiety trying to serve you?
Is it trying to keep you safe?
Is it trying to protect you from feeling humiliated or rejected?
Even though it feels uncomfortable, your anxiety is ultimately trying to help. Try acknowledging that protection. You can even separate the anxiety from your core self by giving that part of you a name and "befriending" it using a dialogue prompt like this:
I see you: Your name is... (e.g., Anxiety)I know you struggle when:(e.g., we step outside our comfort zone, concerned every movement is a hazard)I hope you know that:(e.g., we are safe right now in this exact moment)I see that you're trying to:(e.g., protect my sense of positive regard in the world)
3. Adapt Your Environment and Support System
Once you begin accepting your anxiety which naturally helps lessen its intensity, look at ways to reduce the moments it feels forced to step in. Ask yourself:
How can you adjust your physical environment to feel more grounding?
How are you spending your time and energy each day?
What role can the people around you play in supporting your peace?
4. Practice Bodily Awareness
All emotion starts as a physical sensation. If you can build a clear path of communication between your body and your brain, you can catch stress early and offer yourself self-care before it spirals.
Try reintroducing yourself to your body regularly by asking:
How am I feeling right now, in this exact moment?
What sensations do I feel in my body?
What are those sensations trying to tell me?
5. Remember: You Are Not Your Anxiety
Anxiety is something you experience, not the totality of who you are. To remind yourself of this, try reflecting every night on the other attributes and emotions you felt throughout the day. What went well, and what part did you play in making it happen? Point those moments out to yourself.
This isn’t about following the latest wellness trend or checking off a list of things you ‘should’ do. It’s simply about finding what genuinely works for you.
If you are struggling with anxiety and need some support, please contact me, I am here to help.
